my point was that, the actual inability to know the difference between right and wrong IS legal insanity. that is the basis for the mcnaughton rule, which should be the only release from culpability for a crime.
as far as the abused women, i have filed over three hundred restraining orders. at one time years ago, a quarter of all the restraining orders on file had been done by me. out of that three hundred, over half were back with the punk within three months. about half of those were back within a month. i actually had two that were back by the time i got home from filing the papers.
i have had to go into a house, leaving the gun in the trunk, to make sure the girl was safe while she got her stuff. half of those were back with the punk within six months.
i know that you will not agree, but, from personal experience, i had to come to the conclusion that, while it is certainly not true in a majority of cases, there are simply women who can't stand to not be abused.
half of those that do stay gone, pick up with another piece of shyt instead of finding a real man, over, and over, and over. in one case, i had to get up at three am to drive forty-five miles because the girl was afraid the guy was going to show up. i sat there for nine hours making sure that he didn't. a week later, she moved back in with him.
i still play white knight far too often, but the luster is gone from the sword. it is, for all intents and purposes, always going to be a lost cause
Iamjumbo, I hear your frustration and sympathize with you on the point of the women going back to the abuser. I have actually discussed those points elsewhere on this website, explaining why they do so in the topic Domestic Violence, in reply # 7, Why She Stays. So there is no need for me to repeat any of that post when you can read the reasons there.
We in this field also share the frustrations of helping them get a protective order only to have them back in the abuser's home within days, or standing in front of a judge crying, begging them to void the order. Again, part of that explanation is in the section Why She Stays.
I have been operating a shelter for abused women for 11 years and have worked at this for the past 12 years. I hear the same things from judges, District Attorneys, ADAs, police officers, deputies, the Sheriff and from the public all this time. The only thing I can tell you is to refer the woman to the closest domestic violence agency and shelter. Let them deal with her. They have a better chance of helping her get free from the abuse than you do, and it will save you hours and days of aggravation and frustration. They are experienced at telling her the things she needs to hear to help her break free if anyone can. But even we know that a woman goes back an average of 5 to 7 times before she leaves for good. All we can do is pave the way for her and let her know we will still be there each she leaves and will still be there to help her that one last time she decides to leave for good.
This can be a dangerous business when dealing with violent abusers. I had a close call 2 years with one chasing me and his victim 85 MPH down a rural country road, after waiting for an hour and a half for the deputies to show up and help. This profession is not for the faint of heart or the weak willed, believe me. That one time I got in trouble I failed my own rules. I did not call the deputies first and wait on them to meet us there. I believed the woman when she said she was sure he went to work that day. He didn't go to work and that's how I put us both in danger. But for the most part we follow the rules and keep ourselves safe. And I sure follow it to the letter now.
And as to going to her home to help her retrieve her belongings, we always have several police officers standing by while she does it. And I stay out of her house, if the abuser is home, even with officers there. I will not go in at all.
So my unsolicited advice to you, Iamjumbo is to turn it over to the professionals in this field, in the future, and let them handle the situation.